Grief has a public phase and a private one. The public phase has casseroles in it, and people checking, and permission to be a mess. It lasts about three weeks.

The private phase is the one nobody warns you about. It starts around the time everyone decides you are through it, and it can go on for years.

You are back at work. You look completely fine. And you are having entire conversations while thinking about something else, crying in car parks, and waking at 4am with a heart rate that belongs to someone being chased.

That is not weakness and it is not a disorder. It is a body that has been braced since the phone call, and a question that has not been answered.

What I can help with

• The question underneath. Whether they are alright. Whether the connection ended. Evidential mediumship is the session for this, and it is the one most women are quietly here for.
• The body that will not settle. Sleep that breaks at the same hour. A jaw you have stopped noticing. Reiki and Sensory Energetics work here.
• Not being touched. Grief is isolating in a physical way people rarely name. Bodywork answers something that talking cannot.
• The dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and the two weeks either side. Book before, not after.

What I am not

I am not a psychologist, a counsellor or a grief therapist, and I do not diagnose or treat mental illness. If what you need is clinical care, that is a different door and a good one.

Many of the women on my table are also seeing someone. The two sit alongside each other well. If you are not sure which you need first, say so and I will tell you honestly, even when the honest answer is not me.